In the Beginning...

So I got the idea from my friend Kate at the barn who has been posting about her OTTB since she bought her at 3 and I wish I had done it for my thoroughbred when I had him. Sad thing to think though was that at age 15, there was no such thing as blogging to my knowledge. I didn't start blogging until 17 and even then it as my last thought because Lucky and I were just starting to get to know each other although I had had him for a few years before then.

Lucky Six Four was my best friend and everything I had ever hoped he would be. He was my hero, my confidant, a challenge. He was always there to put up a fight when I was ready for it and there for me when I needed a shoulder or a mane to cry into. LB taught me everything I know when handling people and situations I would be normally uncomfortable with and gave me the confidence to be myself and find the truth in people. He never lied, stole, or cheated me out of anything and I couldn't hide anything from him. In short, until I turned 23, Lucky was the best teacher a girl could ever have and he was there for me through thick and thin. Would never trade that experience for the world and he will always be my number 1.

I went through a time in my life after I lost my best where I did everything I could not to think about it and it got to a point where I was putting myself in danger and in a place I felt like I would never escape. I started riding a horse and working with him and it started to put me back in line but I still wasn't the same. We moved to an old barn I used to board at with a friend and it was just the two of us in a four stall barn... November came and I got the phone call... Free horse.

Yes I know, a free horse is never free but I said hey, why not? I originally went to check out a one and a half year old buckskin filly named Jessie who loved people and wouldn't stop following me and nuzzling me. Then there was the 6 year old quarter horse who couldn't get away from me fast enough. He had that same worried look LB had since the first day I laid eyes on him. His name was Tear Drop to correspond with the 'teardrop' star on his forehead. I said, "I'll take him" It took me about 20 minutes to just get a hold of this leggy just 16 hh gelding. Then I took him out to the ring and tried to see what he could do... Which was nothing. He jumped and bucked and bolted every time I even picked up the end of the rope... But I just couldn't help the way he looked at me. The owner of the barn didn't want me to take him because he had an old injury on his left hind from a barbed-wire fence accident to go with the split in his right ear. With help from a good friend, I had another ride home. He wasn't too sure about the trailer but he got on anyway and we went home.

Tear Drop is depressing... With a name like that you're just asking for trouble so obviously the first name that came to mind was Brantley... I love Brantley Gilbert and I heard him debut on the radio at work and said, "THAT'S IT!" My friend Jen just laughed. The name stuck... And it fits so well.

My first ride on Brantley was a clusterf*ck of bucks and twists and bolting... I lasted maybe 8 seconds and had a 10ft drop on my head, cracked my neck pretty good and broke my helmet. Surprise surprise... Horse wasn't broke...

As time went on we worked on the ground with the only thing I knew... Clinton Anderson. And it worked for us. We worked and worked and desensitized but he still wasn't right. Lots of push from the barn and friends and family... My new found friend Ms. Kate helped me to put him back under saddle. (Best thing I ever did helping her move in!) - We walked to an old barn, tacked him up (which he did perfectly) and on she went with me on the ground. He was scared and shaking... I couldn't understand what happened to him but I know it wasn't good. He was an angel and took the abuse, walked on a semi-loose rein and he understood her leg but I was not going to let go so we just walked. Ended on a good note.

The first time I got on him with Kate on the ground, I cried like a baby... My face red, eyes watery. I was riding my horse... I had a horse. We started riding him off the line walking, then trotting, then cantering almost every day. He was finally standing for us to get on from the mounting block and not trying to slip out from underneath us when we got off. We rode on the trails, over bridges, through fields, in the water. But something still didn't feel right.

Kate took him out on a trail ride one day and he was perfect and relaxed... But at the top of the trail head on the way home he bolted and threw her and clipped her with his leg. She flew into the trees and he took off running down the street. I got the phone call at work and met them on the road. Walking him back home by hand I knew I had missed something. I wasn't doing this right... Maybe it was just a bad day? We'll try again tomorrow. I started riding him again and he was fine. Walk, trot, canter. Circles. Diagonals. But he was heavy... It didn't matter. I was riding my horse. We'd work through it.

My friend Bre came and took pictures of us for the first time with me riding him one afternoon and we looked great. He looked great. Walk, trot, both directions. Warm up for the canter down the long side... Upward transition... He got scared, I lost balance, he bucked, I tried to calm him and he bolted frantically across the ring. I didn't want him to fall off the side of the ring so I pulled him across and off I came skidding across the ground about 4-5 ft. Road rash all down my back. He took three strides, turned, and waited for me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't cry, I just yelled trying to catch my breath. I couldn't feel anything and I couldn't think. My friend ran over asking if she needed to call 911 and all I said was get the horse... She did, I started breathing, got up, and got back on. Took 3 steps, got off and put him away. Never rode him again...

I was there every day from the beginning feeding and caring for the all the horses day and night. That was part of the rough board... But I stopped working him. Stopped everything I was doing and kept finding excuses not to ride and not to keep going. As time went on I kept getting comments, "When are you going to get on him" "Why don't you hire someone" "Send him here" "Send him there"... It discouraged me more and more...

I received a phone call from a woman who was looking for a horse to use in a clinic recently. Thinking they needed a demo horse for a natural horseman I said Brantley was her horse. But they needed a horse to ride. Kate offered Lucy but I was heartbroken. I needed help... They offered to sponsor me in the clinic and I had to jump on it...

The first day I felt so out of place. All my methods were different and I wasn't reading the horse at all. I had completely lost my touch and my senses. The feel, the look, the breathing, even their ears. I was so lost. Saturday came and nothing changed. I was doing everything wrong and being unfair. I thought we were a lost cause when Brent saw what Brantley was really about...

Here's a blurb from my Tumblr...

So this weekend Brantley and I attended the Brent Graef clinic at Heritage Equestrian Center and it was completely different from what I’ve been working on with Him. Same concept with using your tools but applying them differently. We worked more with feel rather than moving away from pressure which makes a lot of sense looking back on it. I have to say that after the first day I wasn’t sure if I was in the right place or with the right people. Saturday afternoon Brent saw what Brantley was really about and it broke my heart…

He compared his foundation to a slice of Swiss cheese that had been left out in the sun too long. Jumping and running and bolting away from every movement… We worked hard that class and I had my eyes opened to a whole new idea of reading your horse

This weekend changed everything for me and totally started us on a new track, a road that we can both take together. By the end of the weekend not only did I have a new horse but I had a new sense of what we needed to do and where we needed to go. I already experienced our goal. I've already ridden him and I know we can do it. Now I just need to do it right this time. New found friends, new found methods, everything I need to break down my wall to get through his.

But in reality, my ultimate goal... Heal his mind so he can help me mend my heart.