Monday, May 19, 2014

A Long Awaited Step

I've been pulling ~50 hours/week. Plus over-night pet-sitting and now a 7-horse barn until the 24th. I've seen CB work with B maybe twice and for 15 minutes tonight. Do I feel like a bad horse mom? Yes... But am I? I was reminded today by a friend that some people never even show up, they just ship their horse out. That's what I feel like I did. But I've needed these last two weeks to make a decision I never thought I'd actually be able to make.

We're moving.

No, not out of state like I'd like to. But the first step... 5 minutes away. I'm going back to where it all started at Tavern Stables. This is the place that I learned everything I knew about taking care of horses, started to ride, and learned what it meant to be a horse owner for the first time. Yeah... It seems like a lot of money to board there but honestly, it's not. It's $450 a month. This pays for hay, grain, a stall (that is attached to a paddock so he can be out 24/7), pasture to graze on ALL DAY and not some tiny paddocks I've been waiting to get kicked out of, change of scenery every day... And all I have to do is clean my stall. No more feedings... Just time to worry about me and my horse. Oh, did I mention the two round pens and fenced arena. It's not the prettiest of places or fancy like Melody might be... But it's home. Sometimes you just need to go back to where it all began... Come full circle before moving on.

I sent everyone a text after talking to the BO and told them what was going on. I feel bad... I do. But it's something that I really need to do and actually, feel a little relieved. It just started to become more work than anything and I was losing my horse, and my mind. Nothing to do with the girls, I tried to make that clear. That is the best group I've had at Melody (minus I do miss Sherry). Plus, if something goes wrong at Tavern, I always have a stall with her. :)

This move will allow me to really put myself together and be the start of a new beginning for me. And maybe it will allow me the time to get the extra help that I need, for myself. There have been a lot of people to come into my life over the last year that I push away because I have to do this and I have to do that. My whole world has been work since I could remember and it was the way I was brought up. Nothing is as important as busting your ass until you have nothing left to give, even family. Which sucks to say but I know neither of my parents read this or can feel bad about it... Yes, I understand, you have to work to live... But that's the thing. I don't live. I work. So here it goes...

The thing I will miss the most. Kate. Over the last two years she has become one of my best, closest, most reliable friends and someone I could always trust with anything (which is a lot for me). I honestly don't know if I could've made it this far with B or at the farm without her. Leaving her and Ms. Lu behind will probably be the hardest thing, but out of everyone, I know she understands. <3 Honestly... I wish I could go on and on about how much of an amazing person she is but I can't only because... There aren't even words to describe it. I will miss boarding with her... Riding with her... Laughing at her while she attempts to hammer in a nail or screams bloody murder at the squirrels. But maybe this will open a new door where we can do other things, like get PinkBerry more than whenever the stars decide they're going to align. All I know is that although we may not board together anymore, she's around the corner...

She'll never be rid of me.

5 Comments:

At May 19, 2014 at 10:32 PM , Blogger Kitty Kat said...

Wow, wish we got all that for $450. Sounds like a good plan. Better to refocus your energy before complete burnout and meltdown. We always miss those we leave, but sounds like you will be close, and good friends stay together, mine bff lives like 400 miles away but we are still close, just different.

 
At May 20, 2014 at 12:27 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

It is a really good deal and I trust the manager. She doesn't half-ass on the hay and gives the horses individually what they need. I boarded LB there for years and left only because it wasn't the best place for me emotionally at the time. Downside is that there isn't an indoor but honestly... I'd trade an indoor for a fenced in outdoor any day.

 
At May 20, 2014 at 4:28 PM , Blogger Tracy said...

It's always tough to leave behind friends, but I know you and Kate will stay in touch! And you'll be much happier when you can spend more time riding and doing what you love :-)

 
At May 20, 2014 at 4:48 PM , Blogger Bree said...

I thought it might be you when I saw the FB page at Melody talking about a rough board opening coming up… that sounds great :) and of course you and Kate will still keep up with each other - and its not like you're that far :) Can't you still ride together? I mean, the trails that go behind Melody go by Tavern too, don't they? You could meet like that and do trails or something?

 
At May 21, 2014 at 2:42 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

I think so. And I think B would benefit from the 1-on-1 time.

 

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A Long Awaited Step

I've been pulling ~50 hours/week. Plus over-night pet-sitting and now a 7-horse barn until the 24th. I've seen CB work with B maybe twice and for 15 minutes tonight. Do I feel like a bad horse mom? Yes... But am I? I was reminded today by a friend that some people never even show up, they just ship their horse out. That's what I feel like I did. But I've needed these last two weeks to make a decision I never thought I'd actually be able to make.

We're moving.

No, not out of state like I'd like to. But the first step... 5 minutes away. I'm going back to where it all started at Tavern Stables. This is the place that I learned everything I knew about taking care of horses, started to ride, and learned what it meant to be a horse owner for the first time. Yeah... It seems like a lot of money to board there but honestly, it's not. It's $450 a month. This pays for hay, grain, a stall (that is attached to a paddock so he can be out 24/7), pasture to graze on ALL DAY and not some tiny paddocks I've been waiting to get kicked out of, change of scenery every day... And all I have to do is clean my stall. No more feedings... Just time to worry about me and my horse. Oh, did I mention the two round pens and fenced arena. It's not the prettiest of places or fancy like Melody might be... But it's home. Sometimes you just need to go back to where it all began... Come full circle before moving on.

I sent everyone a text after talking to the BO and told them what was going on. I feel bad... I do. But it's something that I really need to do and actually, feel a little relieved. It just started to become more work than anything and I was losing my horse, and my mind. Nothing to do with the girls, I tried to make that clear. That is the best group I've had at Melody (minus I do miss Sherry). Plus, if something goes wrong at Tavern, I always have a stall with her. :)

This move will allow me to really put myself together and be the start of a new beginning for me. And maybe it will allow me the time to get the extra help that I need, for myself. There have been a lot of people to come into my life over the last year that I push away because I have to do this and I have to do that. My whole world has been work since I could remember and it was the way I was brought up. Nothing is as important as busting your ass until you have nothing left to give, even family. Which sucks to say but I know neither of my parents read this or can feel bad about it... Yes, I understand, you have to work to live... But that's the thing. I don't live. I work. So here it goes...

The thing I will miss the most. Kate. Over the last two years she has become one of my best, closest, most reliable friends and someone I could always trust with anything (which is a lot for me). I honestly don't know if I could've made it this far with B or at the farm without her. Leaving her and Ms. Lu behind will probably be the hardest thing, but out of everyone, I know she understands. <3 Honestly... I wish I could go on and on about how much of an amazing person she is but I can't only because... There aren't even words to describe it. I will miss boarding with her... Riding with her... Laughing at her while she attempts to hammer in a nail or screams bloody murder at the squirrels. But maybe this will open a new door where we can do other things, like get PinkBerry more than whenever the stars decide they're going to align. All I know is that although we may not board together anymore, she's around the corner...

She'll never be rid of me.