Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Failed...

It's going to be one of those posts...
Of course I was talking about how awesome I'm doing at the 100 day ride thing... And then my Dad left for business, work gave me awkward 9-10 hour shifts, and the cold hit again. As you know, the cold doesn't do much to stopping me from riding... But it's leaving Chevy in the crate because Dad's away for over 8 hours and there not being any daylight left to take him out for a walk. I guess I can use this time to get my house organized all over again and finally get my room started. What was my goal list again? I've still got a couple of weeks. Fortunately tomorrow I work only a 6 hour shift so I'll have enough time for everything else within the day. Plus... It's pay day.


*phone ringing* *sigh* Just got a phone call that Brantley popped one of his curcingle straps for his newer medium weight blanket. Good thing I have a spare! But now for the repairs. This is why you should have spares! Minus the fact that my older one is well... 10 years old plus not at ALL waterproof... It still works!

Other things I'm working on, Biggest Loser at work. I hopped on the bandwagon because my friend owed me $20 so I said just throw it in the bucket. I'm supporting her (even though winning $200 would be awesome) through this competition and helping her stay motivated and with that, she's getting me motivated. She started the Paleo lifestyle about 2 weeks ago and is loving it. I started to do some research and I may give it a go. Living with a bachelor who has a working lifestyle like my own, changing anything about my diet gets pretty difficult. I know that's an awful excuse but... It's all I've got. If Dad comes home with ravioli and pays money for 4-5 boxes of cereal and milk, I'm not going to waste it. He takes really good care of me but maybe if I try to put in more effort to cook and make my own food, he'll benefit from it to. H and I started to hit the gym again and I look at myself and how strong we started and I get pretty disappointed in myself. When I was working on the farm at Freedom and taking care of all those horses, riding 6-10 horses a day, training, fixing things, mending fences, being out in the sun, running with the dogs, carrying water buckets, mucking stalls... I was f*cking fit and felt amazing (sexy too which is totally unheard of coming out of my mouth). I've completely lost all of that. I have my moments where I need to remind myself how far I have come with my past "issues" and weight but I know I can do better and get there again.



HIGH SCHOOL (middle school was worse)
Anime Boston... That's me in the middle...
My Senior Photo with Lucky
I have no pictures when I was at Freedom unfortunately. 

But right before things started going downhill again:

I had finally felt my best and my healthiest.
I would actually smile in pictures and put effort into myself.

I just want to feel that way again and it's time to kick myself in the ass and get it done.
My job is my body, my body is my job. Without it... I have nothing.

... well, except the horse, dog, and Mitch<3

**Thanks for listening to me whine**


14 Comments:

At January 22, 2014 at 6:50 PM , Blogger Bree said...

Youuu can doooo it :) I have some friends who did the paleo diet and did amaazzingly. I'm gunna be joining in to lose baby weight around June.... Roger might buy me a gym membership and everything... Not sure how I'll find time at that point but ehh!! Details...

 
At January 22, 2014 at 7:00 PM , Blogger Kitty Kat said...

My coworker lost weight on the paleo diet, but it costs more in time and money, two things of which i don't like spending extra on. Just start a little at a time, portion control, then choosing the better of two (carrots not fries), I mean you can lose the weight if you go more extreme quicker, but then you have to maintain it, which to me is the hard part.

 
At January 22, 2014 at 8:10 PM , Blogger Kate said...

I mean, it's the middle of the freaking winter...in New England...and you're running around like a crazy person getting from Point A to Point B each day. So give yourself a break ;) I think you are beautiful and you are one of the strongest women I know (in more than one way, but here I'm talking about physically). So it's not really what the scale says.

 
At January 22, 2014 at 9:44 PM , Blogger Amanda said...

I agree with Kate. You are beautiful just the way you are, but I also have to say I know I feel SO much better when I take proper care of myself, eating right and exercising. Know that you have a great support network, whatever you do. :)

 
At January 22, 2014 at 9:58 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

I think you'll have plenty to do once the little one comes around. Like visit me!

 
At January 22, 2014 at 9:59 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

I agree, maintaining is the hard part and I know that I'm not going to be able to go strict Paleo, but at least if I can find a good medium. It'll be fair. :)

 
At January 22, 2014 at 10:02 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

Cause we all know I'm a little edgy on the emotional side haha. <3 Thanks Kate, definitely need that pick me up (and the 1.5 miles I ran on the treadmill at the gym).

 
At January 22, 2014 at 10:04 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

That's the main thing. I've never been a scale person. When I was my fittest (not even skinniest but healthiest mentally and physically) I was 160lbs. I'm not very tall but that's a lot and over the scale for someone my size according to Dr's standards. But I didn't care. My clothes fit and I felt awesome all the time. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

 
At January 23, 2014 at 7:03 AM , Anonymous Natalie said...

I just had to comment. Ever since I met you at the barn when I was looking for a place to board I said to myself I wanna look like her. No joke. I still do. With that said you've come a long way you just have to make the smart decisions.
I am proud of how far you've come. I'm here to support you as you support me with any help you need! Dust yourself off stand tall and keep moving forward! There are no quick fixes just better lifestyle choices which will benefit you in the long run xoxo

 
At January 23, 2014 at 7:24 AM , Blogger Alicia said...

Everyone needs a good whine session now and then... Followed by a wine session ;) I also have been making way too many excuses lately, time to buckle down and get it done.

 
At January 23, 2014 at 2:34 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

:) <3

 
At January 23, 2014 at 2:35 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

I'm with ya Alicia!

 
At January 25, 2014 at 12:40 PM , Blogger Lauren said...

I second this!

 
At January 25, 2014 at 12:42 PM , Blogger Lauren said...

Come on, you're no failure. I'm proud you've been out to work with Brantley pretty much every day up to this point. With the kinds of jobs we have, with crazy and ever-changing hours, it's amazing you've gotten to do as much as you have! Anyway, it's a good challenge goal to have but I know right now I could NEVER hope to do a 100 day challenge and you are still amazing in riding whenever you can. You're doing just fine :)

 

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Failed...

It's going to be one of those posts...
Of course I was talking about how awesome I'm doing at the 100 day ride thing... And then my Dad left for business, work gave me awkward 9-10 hour shifts, and the cold hit again. As you know, the cold doesn't do much to stopping me from riding... But it's leaving Chevy in the crate because Dad's away for over 8 hours and there not being any daylight left to take him out for a walk. I guess I can use this time to get my house organized all over again and finally get my room started. What was my goal list again? I've still got a couple of weeks. Fortunately tomorrow I work only a 6 hour shift so I'll have enough time for everything else within the day. Plus... It's pay day.


*phone ringing* *sigh* Just got a phone call that Brantley popped one of his curcingle straps for his newer medium weight blanket. Good thing I have a spare! But now for the repairs. This is why you should have spares! Minus the fact that my older one is well... 10 years old plus not at ALL waterproof... It still works!

Other things I'm working on, Biggest Loser at work. I hopped on the bandwagon because my friend owed me $20 so I said just throw it in the bucket. I'm supporting her (even though winning $200 would be awesome) through this competition and helping her stay motivated and with that, she's getting me motivated. She started the Paleo lifestyle about 2 weeks ago and is loving it. I started to do some research and I may give it a go. Living with a bachelor who has a working lifestyle like my own, changing anything about my diet gets pretty difficult. I know that's an awful excuse but... It's all I've got. If Dad comes home with ravioli and pays money for 4-5 boxes of cereal and milk, I'm not going to waste it. He takes really good care of me but maybe if I try to put in more effort to cook and make my own food, he'll benefit from it to. H and I started to hit the gym again and I look at myself and how strong we started and I get pretty disappointed in myself. When I was working on the farm at Freedom and taking care of all those horses, riding 6-10 horses a day, training, fixing things, mending fences, being out in the sun, running with the dogs, carrying water buckets, mucking stalls... I was f*cking fit and felt amazing (sexy too which is totally unheard of coming out of my mouth). I've completely lost all of that. I have my moments where I need to remind myself how far I have come with my past "issues" and weight but I know I can do better and get there again.



HIGH SCHOOL (middle school was worse)
Anime Boston... That's me in the middle...
My Senior Photo with Lucky
I have no pictures when I was at Freedom unfortunately. 

But right before things started going downhill again:

I had finally felt my best and my healthiest.
I would actually smile in pictures and put effort into myself.

I just want to feel that way again and it's time to kick myself in the ass and get it done.
My job is my body, my body is my job. Without it... I have nothing.

... well, except the horse, dog, and Mitch<3

**Thanks for listening to me whine**