Monday, August 18, 2014

Successful Birthday... Finally

The only picture from my birthday "celebration"
So I'm leaving my mid-20s... Excited? Absolutely. I know I really shouldn't be according to most people, but I am. I can't keep thinking, "God I'm so old and so behind in the horse world". I just have to get out there and celebrate what I've done and where I'm going.

As always, I was nervous for my birthday. There's a reason that most know and some understand, some think it's silly. I wanted to take the weekend off for a horse show that I decided to skip, but I needed to do something. It was the first birthday in 3 years that I haven't been admittedly on suicide watch, depressed as f*ck, or in the hospital. This year I told myself, girl, celebrate what you have and not what you've lost. Friday night was a movie, Saturday... 3 hour trail ride followed by a night I don't REALLY remember... And Sunday, time with friends. 

What will my real birthday bring? Who cares! Horse time and a bowl of Lucky Charms? 
That's all I need, along with the memories of the horse who gave it all for me.

1996-2011
Lucky was the love my life. The horse that got me through. The horse that kept me alive. He rescued me when I most needed him. The confidence. The love. The trust. The need to be excepted. Because of him I learned who I was and that I was worth something. I wasn't a shadow. I wasn't a backdrop. He got me through my first years of high school, and taught me to hold my head up high Junior Year and be myself no matter what people thought. He taught me that it wasn't what I wore, wasn't what I didn't have, and who I wasn't friends with. It was everything I already was, I just needed to believe it.

I try to remember him while I eat my *Lucky Charms* that Ms. Kate always leaves me (because she's an amazing friend), but this year I shared. 

He may not like peppermints but he looooves those marshmallows!


I decided this year to celebrate what Lucky brought me. 
A dog and a horse, two beings that got me through the darkness that had taken over.

Without that loss in my life, I wouldn't have realized how strong I really was and how much I could overcome. I wouldn't have met the people I have in my life and lived the experiences I've lived in this short amount of time. Without him... I wouldn't have had all of this.









And it's all because of him.


I miss you <3 Thank you for everything.

posted by Madeline C. @ 9:50 PM   8 Comments

8 Comments:

At August 18, 2014 at 10:39 PM , Blogger Cassie said...

Absolutely beautiful post, brought a tear to my eye. You are such an amazing person, with so much love and kindness, I am truly honored to be your friend and be part of your life! Happy Birthday to you, I Love you Chicky!! xoxoxo

 
At August 18, 2014 at 11:30 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

Thanks Cassie. <3

 
At August 18, 2014 at 11:33 PM , Blogger L.Williams said...

I definitely know this feel Happy Birthday!

 
At August 18, 2014 at 11:53 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

I knew you definitely would :) Thanks.

 
At August 19, 2014 at 9:59 AM , Blogger Kalin said...

Sending hugs! Such a beautiful post!

 
At August 19, 2014 at 9:36 PM , Blogger Madeline C. said...

Thanks Kalin. :)

 
At August 22, 2014 at 9:03 AM , Blogger Comic Book Chronicles said...

That was beautiful Maddy!! Miss you chickie, let's get together real soon xo 💓😊

 
At August 30, 2014 at 11:28 PM , Blogger Lauren said...

:) Great post. I'm so glad you finally had a good birthday!!

 

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Successful Birthday... Finally

The only picture from my birthday "celebration"
So I'm leaving my mid-20s... Excited? Absolutely. I know I really shouldn't be according to most people, but I am. I can't keep thinking, "God I'm so old and so behind in the horse world". I just have to get out there and celebrate what I've done and where I'm going.

As always, I was nervous for my birthday. There's a reason that most know and some understand, some think it's silly. I wanted to take the weekend off for a horse show that I decided to skip, but I needed to do something. It was the first birthday in 3 years that I haven't been admittedly on suicide watch, depressed as f*ck, or in the hospital. This year I told myself, girl, celebrate what you have and not what you've lost. Friday night was a movie, Saturday... 3 hour trail ride followed by a night I don't REALLY remember... And Sunday, time with friends. 

What will my real birthday bring? Who cares! Horse time and a bowl of Lucky Charms? 
That's all I need, along with the memories of the horse who gave it all for me.

1996-2011
Lucky was the love my life. The horse that got me through. The horse that kept me alive. He rescued me when I most needed him. The confidence. The love. The trust. The need to be excepted. Because of him I learned who I was and that I was worth something. I wasn't a shadow. I wasn't a backdrop. He got me through my first years of high school, and taught me to hold my head up high Junior Year and be myself no matter what people thought. He taught me that it wasn't what I wore, wasn't what I didn't have, and who I wasn't friends with. It was everything I already was, I just needed to believe it.

I try to remember him while I eat my *Lucky Charms* that Ms. Kate always leaves me (because she's an amazing friend), but this year I shared. 

He may not like peppermints but he looooves those marshmallows!


I decided this year to celebrate what Lucky brought me. 
A dog and a horse, two beings that got me through the darkness that had taken over.

Without that loss in my life, I wouldn't have realized how strong I really was and how much I could overcome. I wouldn't have met the people I have in my life and lived the experiences I've lived in this short amount of time. Without him... I wouldn't have had all of this.









And it's all because of him.


I miss you <3 Thank you for everything.