Frustrating Day in Pony Land

I have to remind myself that I can't have a good day with Brantley every day. Especially when it's been at least 3-4 days since I've been able to do anything w him so everything I asked he gave me the, "You want me to do what?" look. But it was suspected and my own fault. Of course people were around watching too and I keep trying to focus on him but then the questions start flooding in. It's okay... I have to learn.

Sometimes I wish I could just do my thing and not worry but seeing other people ride while I'm struggling to teach my horse to walk up to the mounting block without shutting down... It's hard. I know I'll grow for it and become a better horse person but I feel alone. We've been through a lot in separate worlds but it's that trust we have to build again. I wish I could just go away for even a month or 2 weeks and do colt starting boot camp with him. Be with horsemen who understand what's going on and can help me let go so I can help him.

We'll get there. I know it's going to take time. I know I need help. I know I'm going to get frustrated and nothing is perfect. A trainer once said we ruin a horse from the first moment we touch them... Then we spend our lives trying to fix our mistakes. They teach us more than we'll ever teach them if we can just let go.

I just need a cookie :)